Revise this paragraph from the essay on vegetarianism, which focuses on one of the claim’s supporting reasons. As you revise the paragraph, focus on:
- making sure the point of the paragraph is precise and related to the overall claim in the essay,
- using words, phrases, and clauses to link major ideas in the paragraph,
- organizing ideas in a logical way,
- stating and addressing a counter-argument,
- maintaining a formal style and objective tone, and
- correcting MLA citation errors.
Underline any portions of the original paragraph that you include in your version of the paragraph. (30 points)Paragraph to be revised:
Essay claim: Vegetarianism is the healthiest lifestyle available.
Vegetarians get all of the nutrients they need by eating a variety of foods. There are tons of foods they can eat. In fact, there are more foods vegetarians can eat (fruits, vegetables, grains) than those they can’t eat (animal products). According to Marco Alvez on page 45 of Vegetarianism for Everyone, “non-animal foods are the only building blocks human beings need to maintain proper health. Naturally occurring food items are rich in vitamins, minerals, and other essential nutrients.” Tim Over, a nutritionist and someone who really likes and fights for vegetarianism, has found that people who avoid meat in their diets are actually much less likely to become seriously ill than those who regularly eat meat (page 66 of Tim Over’s book). Vegetarians are really healthy. A researcher says that vegetarians aren’t healthy because they can’t get enough protein in their diets (Evans, page 22 in No More Vegetarians). That statement is pure craziness! Of course, vegetarians eat protein (beans, tofu, protein-rich grains), just not meat protein.
