See attached.
HRM 3301, Human Relations and Development 1
Course Learning Outcomes for Unit VII
Upon completion of this unit, students should be able to:
3. Evaluate personality differences among people.
3.1 Explore how to communicate with different types of people based on personality type.
8. Explore career-enhancing strategies and tactics.
8.1 Summarize how to improve one’s professional relationships based on personality type.
Required Unit Resources
Chapter 12: Relationships with Family Members
Unit Lesson
Defining Love
Love—the number of books, movies, and webcasts dedicated to love seems endless. Romantic love has
unique characteristics that can be differentiated from liking. Liking another, as in friendship, is associated with
feelings of joy and happiness. Loving involves a deeper and more intense emotional commitment than liking.
Loving comprises a connection between partners, genuine interest in the partner’s well-being, and attachment
(McCornack & Morrison, 2022). Passionate love is often described as an intense need to be around the other.
Passionate love is driven in part by idealization of partners, and people from all cultures experience
passionate love. Gender and age do not affect how people experience passionate love. For adults,
passionate love is associated with sexuality and sexual desire. You may be surprised to learn that passionate
love is negatively related to relationship duration. Passion tends to lessen over time.
As liking intensifies, it can turn to companionate love. Sociologist John Alan Lee (as cited in McCornack &
Morrison, 2022) identified six additional types of love that fall within the range of passionate and
companionate love, giving them traditional Greek names.
UNIT VII STUDY GUIDE
Communication in Love and Families
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(McCornack & Morrison, 2022)
Romantic Relationships
A romantic relationship is a chosen partnership where both parties feel a strong, loving connection. These
relationships exhibit diversity in partner characteristics and relationship types, yet most function in a similar
manner. Romantic relationships are initiated and maintained by choice. They require a commitment and an
intention to continue the relationship. Romantic involvements are forged through interpersonal communication
(McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
Tensions arise because romantic relationships are subject to three common types of competing impulses,
which are called relational dialectics (McCornack & Morrison, 2022):
• Openness versus protection is the tension between wanting to share information and wishing to
protect privacy.
• Autonomy versus connection involves the competing needs for bonding with another and maintaining
our individuality.
• Novelty versus predictability is the challenge of reconciling the need for stability against a desire for
excitement.
Several factors affect the development of romantic attraction. For example, how physically close people are
plays an important role in romantic attraction, as we have more contact with those we see on a regular basis.
This is known as the mere exposure effect (McCornack & Morrison, 2022). Conversely, being exposed
repeatedly to those we already dislike can increase your distaste for them. Additionally, we are more attracted
to those who we view as physically appealing, or beautiful-is-good effect, which stipulates that attractive
people will make better partners. We are less likely to form romantic relationships with people we judge as
substantially different from ourselves in physical attractiveness (matching).
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Additionally, we are more attracted to those who appear similar to us. Perceived similarity allows first
encounters to seem comfortable and predictable. Similarities consist of physical characteristics, personalities,
values, and personal likes and dislikes. Fundamental differences in personalities and values can erode
attraction. Differences in tastes and preferences (e.g., enjoying different music) do not predict or necessarily
impede relational success (McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
Many couples meet online, and this changes the attraction process.
(Grinvalds, n.d.)
Communication technologies have affected the attraction process. Network sites allow us to establish virtual
proximity with others. Technology enhances our ability to gauge others’ potential in terms of similarity, the
rewards they offer, and their physical appeal. Relational tensions may be evoked due to distorted self-
descriptions and the misrepresentations technology permits (e.g., misleading online profiles).
Relationships and Communication
All romantic relationships undergo development stages in the partners’ communication, thoughts, and
feelings—the process of coming together as a couple. During the initiating stage, your primary concern is
creating a positive impression through an appropriate greeting. Experimenting is dominated by small talk,
disclosing unimportant facts safely. Most relationships do not go beyond this stage.
Intensifying occurs when partners begin experiencing strong feelings of attraction. During this stage, the
depth of personal disclosure increases. The use of terms of endearment and the word “we” may begin and/or
increase. Expressions of physical affection—handholding, cuddling, or sexual activity—may occur.
During the integrating stage, you and your partner seem to form a union and rituals (McCornack & Morrison,
2022). Individual identities become increasingly difficult to separate. Attitudes, activities, and interests clearly
signify you as a couple. Then comes bonding, or a is public validation that serves to institutionalize your
relationship. Many associate this with marriage.
Just as couples can come together, they can fall apart. Feelings and attractions can change and
differentiating can begin. Even healthy romances experience occasions of differentiating. Effective
communication can move a relationship through these tensions. Stagnating occurs when couples no longer
can communicate without arguing. Individuals experience a sense of resignation or feel trapped. Stagnation
can be lasting unless effort is made to rebuild or end the relationship. Some relationships can become so
strained that couples begin avoiding each other. Avoidance may be communicated directly to the partner
(e.g., changing one’s relationship status on Facebook, declaring “I’m leaving you”). Indirect communication
may be used by making excuses, failing to respond to calls, and physically avoiding the other.
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Terminating is way of ending a relationship that may provide a sense of closure. Partners might discuss the
past, present, and future of the relationship and exchange summary statements. These can be accusations
(e.g., “You’re the worst person I’ve ever dated!”) or laments (e.g., “I’ll never find anyone like you!”). The future
status of the relationship may range from ending all contact to entering a state of platonic friendship.
Romantic breakups are a kind of death, so handling relational termination requires using strong interpersonal
skills to minimize the pain and damage.
Relational maintenance refers to romantic partners’ efforts to keep their relationships in a desired state or
condition. Several strategies have been identified.
• Positivity is considered the most important strategy for ensuring happiness. Positivity is demonstrated
with enjoyable interaction, complimenting, and showing romantic interest. Positivity is undermined by
constant complaining, ridicule, and making unfair demands on the partner.
• Assurances are messages that emphasize the relationship’s depth of intimacy, stress mutual
commitment, and describe the couple’s future as certain. Assurances consist of letting your partner
know about your commitment to the relationship and its future and sending messages or performing
actions that demonstrate your love. Assurances are undermined by flirting with others, discouraging
talk about the future, and prioritizing your cell phone or other electronic devices over your partner.
• Sharing tasks is taking mutual responsibility for chores and day-to-day tasks. Sharing tasks is the
most frequently practiced form of maintenance. Sharing tasks occurs through distributing
responsibilities equally, asking the other how you can help, and anticipating tasks that need to be
done. The strategy of shared tasks is undermined by strategically avoiding responsibilities and failing
to reciprocate your partner’s efforts.
• Acceptance of your partner means being supportive and forgiving. Acceptance is conveyed by
forgiving your partner’s mistakes, supporting their decisions, and showing patience when your partner
is in a bad mood. Acceptance is undermined when grievances are held against your partner; telling
your partner you wish they were different; and by criticizing your partner’s appearance, personality,
beliefs, and values.
• Self-disclosure is sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fears. Self-disclosure should be mutual. Self-
disclosure is undermined by keeping important information secret from your partner, disparaging your
partner’s perspective, and sharing confidential information about your partner with others.
• Partners encourage relationship talks when they set aside time to openly and respectfully share
relationship concerns with each other. Relationship talks are undermined by reacting defensively
whenever your partner shares relationship concerns and by avoiding and ridiculing the need to
discuss the relationship.
• Getting social network support means gaining the approval of families and friends for the relationship.
Supportive social networks are developed when you communicate liking for your partner’s family and
friends, invite them to share in activities with you, and sacrifice your own needs for the sake of the
social network. Social networks are undermined when you make remarks critical of your partner’s
family and friends and demand that your partner choose between spending time with you and
spending time with them.
• A common challenge to maintaining romantic relationships is geographic separation. Some
suggestions to help maintain such relationships include the following. While separated, use
technology to regularly communicate with your partner. Use maintenance strategies, such as
positivity and assurances. When you reunite, expect a period of adjustment instead of pure bliss; use
constructive conflict management strategies when difficult dilemmas arise.
Maintaining or Dissolving the Relationship
The decision whether to maintain or dissolve a struggling romance can be challenging. Four factors appear
crucial in predicting survival of a romantic relationship in crisis (McCornack & Morrison, 2022):
• The degree to which the partners consider themselves “in love”
• The equity of costs and benefits that exist in the relationship
• The degree of similarity the couple shares is the third factor
• The amount of network support (from family and friends) is important to maintaining the couple
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The possible dark side to romantic relationships involves four strong challenges to love—betrayal, jealousy,
relational intrusion, and dating violence (McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
Romantic betrayal occurs when one party goes against the agreed upon terms of the relationship, such as
lying or cheating. Sexual infidelity occurs when a partner engages in sexual activity with someone other than
their romantic partner. Emotional infidelity involves a strong romantic bond with another person outside the
relationship. It is a myth that men are likely to be more upset by sexual infidelity, whereas women are likely to
be more upset by emotional infidelity. Both agree that emotional infidelity is worse. Betrayal is intentional.
Betrayal can lead to relational devaluation when you realize that your partner does not love and respect you
as much as you thought (McCornack & Morrison, 2022). Betrayal often causes grief over the loss of the
relationship that was.
Jealousy can plague users of online social-networking sites, causing some to engage in wedging. This occurs
when a person deliberately places himself or herself between partners in a romantic relationship. While
jealousy is expected in small amounts, becoming too jealous can hurt the relationship.
Relational inclusion is sometimes associated with jealousy but is far more controlling. Controlling and
monitoring actions can come in the form of persistent texts inquiring about one’s whereabouts and invasion of
privacy (e.g., searching computer). In post-relationship intrusion, the ex-partner may be physically followed or
receive gifts, messages, and exaggerated levels of affection; this behavior can lead to the criminal offense of
stalking. Intrusion is best handled by realizing the intrusion is unacceptable and unethical, and by speaking
directly to the intruder, and seeking help from authorities if it persists. Those engaging in intrusive behaviors
should stop immediately, regardless of intent, and seek therapeutic help if necessary.
Dating violence crosses all demographic boundaries and is commonly misperceived. Violent behaviors
escalate slowly. Potential abusers mask their violence until a relationship is firmly established. If you are a
victim of dating violence, your only recourse is to safely exit the relationship. A person in this situation should
cut all ties to the abuser, have a safety plan to keep the abuser from knowing your whereabouts, and consult
professionals for help.
Love, Family, Communication
Families are communities within themselves and are formed in many ways. Some families are biological
relatives, some form through marriage, and others are chosen families, in which close friends decide to
cohabitate. Families are very complex and usually come with their own social norms and ways of
communicating. Because families share a history and strong bond, these communications can be intense
(McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
There are many types of families:
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(McCornack & Morrison, 2022)
• A nuclear family comprises of parents (usually a man and woman) and children. These were formerly
the most common family type in North America; today nuclear families are the minority family type in
North America.
• An extended family consists of relatives.
• A stepfamily results from bringing at least one child who is not the biological offspring of both adults
into the household.
• Cohabiting couples are two people in an unmarried romantic relationship living together.
• A single-parent family is a household with one parent (mother or father) and their children.
• A voluntary-kin family is a group of people who decide to live as a family and who are not biologically
related.
Family Tension and Conflicts
Just like in all relationships, there can be tension among families. One of these tensions is referred to as
autonomy versus connection (McCornack & Morrison, 2022). In this type of tension, some members of the
family have a need for freedom outside of the family unit, while others want more time and attention spent on
the family. Think of a teenager wanting more time with friends, and parents establishing curfews and family
time. Cultivating social networks and sharing activities and tasks are important and helpful maintenance
strategies to manage this tension in families. As with shared activities and tasks, finding a balance between
family relationships and outside connections is ideal.
A second tension is openness and protection. According to Communication Privacy Management Theory,
people are very strategic in how they share their private information to others outside of the family unit
(McCornack & Morrison, 2022). Some families feel betrayed when their secrets are shared with friends, while
others openly discuss arguments. Family rules that balance openness and privacy can be managed in three
ways:
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(McCornack & Morrison, 2022, p. 340)
Family relationships also face challenges. Three of the most difficult to navigate are stepfamily transition,
parental favoritism, and interparental conflict. Stepfamilies can face some unique challenges as they are
blending rules and working to unify a full family. Some children may have a difficult time accepting their new
stepparent and may not want to respect their rules. Other times, parents struggle to agree on rules and
conflict management styles (McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
Another challenge is parental favoritism, which involves one child receiving more affection and/or resources
than others. Parental favoritism has profound and enduring effects. Favored children are more professionally
successful and experience greater satisfaction in adulthood than disfavored children. Siblings from favoritism
families lack closeness, and they also express more anger. Parental favoritism is best managed by regularly
practicing positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure with one’s siblings, and siblings within favoritism families
can still form healthy bonds (McCornack & Morrison, 2022).
Families regularly experience conflict, and constant overt, hostile interactions have devastating outcomes for
children. Children learn their communication style and conflict resolution skills from the adults around them,
and children from hostile families may be more likely to become aggressive themselves (McCornack &
Morrison, 2022). Interparental conflict can best be managed by understanding the dangers of self-enhancing
thoughts, destructive messages, and serial arguments. If you are the child of parents who fight, encourage
them to approach their conflicts more constructively or consider seeking professional help. If you are the
parent, however, think critically about how you behave in front of your children.
References
Grinvalds, K. (n.d.). Woman using online dating app on tablet (ID 81903153) [Photograph]. Dreamstime.
McCornack, S., & Morrison, K. (2022). Reflect & relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication (6th
ed.). Bedford/St. Martin’s.
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Suggested Unit Resources
The content from the below chapter was introduced to you in the unit lesson. If you like to explore romantic
partners further, consider reading the below chapter:
Chapter 11: Relationships with Romantic Partners
In order to access the following resources, click the links below.
Reviewing the below Chapter Presentation will reinforce the unit topics:
Chapter 11 Presentation
PDF of Chapter 11 Presentation
Chapter 12 Presentation
PDF of Chapter 12 Presentation
In the below video segment, you meet couples who participate in a study to see what qualities are needed to
make a romantic relationships work:
BBC Worldwide Learning (Producer). (2005). Relationships in various stages (Segment 1 of 10) [Video]. In
Love. Films on Demand.
aylists.aspx?wID=273866&xtid=35408&loid=25663
The transcript for the video segment can be found by clicking on “Transcript” in the gray bar to the right of the
video in the Films on Demand database.
Many would agree that empathy is important in relationships and human connection. The below article
addresses the role of empathy in social relationships and relationship satisfaction:
Blanke, E. S., Rauers, A., & Riediger, M. (2016). Does being empathic pay off?—Associations between
performance-based measures of empathy and social adjustment in younger and older women.
Emotion, 16(5), 671–683.
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In this unit, we discuss various challenges facing families. Military families face unique challenges when
service members are away for long periods of time. The below study explores these challenges:
Pflieger, J. C., Richardson, S. M., Stander, V. A., & Allen, E. S. (2022). Risk and protective factors predictive
of marital instability in U.S. military couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 36(5), 791–802.
ct=true&db=pdh&AN=2022-16102-001&site=ehost-live&scope=site
- Course Learning Outcomes for Unit VII
- Required Unit Resources
- Unit Lesson
- Defining Love
- Romantic Relationships
- Relationships and Communication
- Maintaining or Dissolving the Relationship
- Love, Family, Communication
- Family Tension and Conflicts
- References
- Suggested Unit Resources