Discussion Response

1.

I believe strategic therapists dig down to the root of the problem. In my words, these therapists get to the meat of the matter. I appreciate the fact that this particular therapist is in place to assist the individual/family in need of crisis services. It also sparks my attention to see a therapist go from one extreme of gathering information, for example, completing the initial assessment, to the next, becoming more focused on the actual problem by utilizing therapeutic skills, tools, and interventions to empathetically assist the client.

It is my belief that we inherit behavioral tendencies from our families. I have heard so many people say I act just like my mom. My sister often states that I inherited my mom’s kind heart. I know this sounds good, but it is not always what it seems. This could be a good thing if someone appreciates it, and it could also be a bad situation if an individual does not. There are so many behaviors that I have observed in my family that have been passed on from generation to generation, with some being pretty good and others not so good. I think the behaviors can be passed through generations by both behavioral and modeling from both sides of the family. It is usually learn more from the side of the family that the child(ren) interacts with the most.

Bowenian family theory speaks to me because I did not know much about the sibling position until I read the information in Chapter 8 of the text. This is true with my oldest sister and me, as I am the youngest of our siblings. She carried the leadership role with me since we were children. She is the one who my parents always left in charge, and she would do exactly what she was instructed, and then there was I, being the baby sister and acting just like that, a baby. However, I clearly understand why my parents entrusted her with your younger siblings because of her maturity and leadership skills. At the time, I did not understand why our personalities and characteristics were totally different. I honestly get it now, with behavioral modeling, she was doing what she observed my mother do, which was to take care of her siblings and keep us safe, just like our parents did. My sister’s personality has always been very serious, professional-like since we were children. I assume she took on that stance because of her role in our family among the siblings. In turn, I took on the role of the younger sibling, being the follower. And to this very day, she still thinks she is my bonus parent, but I love her dearly, so I just let her think I am listening and following her lead, which, most of the time, she is right.

2.

Strategic family therapy provides an approach to counseling that is highly focused and with clear direction. I can see the appeal of this method, especially when a family is in a clear crisis and requiring guidance and clear direction. In these circumstances, the therapist will assume a leading role. In this position they will identify the patterns and prescribe intervention, reshaping the patterns of concern. I think that there is value in this, especially when time is limited or when there is push-back against intervention. With the authority of the therapist, momentum can begin. Personally, I feel that the therapist must be careful to not become too controlling or judgmental.

Transgenerational theory, by contrast, takes a broader view, it looks at patterns that are passed down from generation to generation. The idea here is that we inherit not only physical looks but also that we inherit behavior patterns from parents. There is an old expression ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ that exemplifies this. But can we inherit behavior from a great-grandfather? How far back would this pattern go? I’ve often heard people say, “You’re just like your father,” and sometimes it’s startling how accurate those observations are. Whether it’s due to biology, modeling or family dynamics and upbringing it is possible that family patterns repeat over time. I think that this is a powerful theory as it acknowledges cultural legacy and can show us aspects of how we function as adults today.

Bowenian theory builds on this by focusing on concepts like differentiation of self and sibling position. I am interested in birth order and how that connects to personality development. Are first borns more natural leaders? Is the youngest sibling the one who gets the most parental love and freedom to do as they please? While not universally true, birth order seems to affect how individuals respond to stress, authority, and family expectations.

Combining these notions could be very beneficial in real life. While transgenerational and Bowenian models offer depth and context, a strategic approach can offer prompt action. Knowing a family’s past can help them understand why they are stuck and provide guidance on how to proceed.

3.

Strategic therapy offers a compelling intervention method, especially for families in acute crisis. This directive and problem-focused approach assumes a leadership-oriented role where the therapist acts like a “drill sergeant,” guiding the family through assignments and interventions with the goal of breaking rigid interactional patterns (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2021). I find this method effective for families that are stuck in dysfunctional cycles and need a firm, structured path forward. Strategic therapy emphasizes immediate, observable change and uses paradoxical interventions and creative tasks to challenge resistance, which can be especially powerful for clients who may not respond well to traditional talk therapy.

The saying, “You act just like your mother,” resonates with many people and suggests the reality of transgenerational behavioral patterns. Transgenerational theory, especially as explored in Bowenian Family Systems Theory, supports the idea that we often carry relational styles and coping mechanisms from our family of origin into our current relationships (Kim-Appel & Appel, 2021). These tendencies can stem from both biological predispositions and behavioral modeling, as children often mirror the emotional and social strategies of their caregivers. This learned behavior becomes embedded in family scripts that can span generations if left unexamined.

Bowen’s concept of differentiation of self offers an important framework for breaking these generational cycles. Differentiation is one’s ability to separate the intellectual and emotional processing of oneself from that of one’s own family. High-emotional-fusion families pass on anxiety, enmeshment, and poor boundaries from one generation to the next, which generates psychological suffering across generations. An increase in one’s differentiation allows one to be one’s own person, to make decisions based on one’s own values rather than emotional reactivity, and to conclude one’s involvement in unhealthy patterns.

Within my own family, birth order exerts an influential role on personality dynamics, just as Bowen’s theory predicts. Being the eldest, I was prone to assume a caregiving role and was expected to set an example for maturity. My youngest sister, not infrequently insulated from responsibility, became more-dependent in style. These patterns repeated those from earlier generations, highlighting just how ingrained family systems become and how they shape identity and relationship functioning. The system helped me to understand and appreciate the behavior within the family and to recognize points of change and growth.   

4.

Our article highlights that the concept of the Strategic Therapist is like that of a

“drill sergeant”

and is fitting and effective in certain family therapy cases. In times of crisis, families often require more than just a listening ear; they need guidance. Strategic Therapy isn’t about providing emotional support; it’s about taking direct action, typically through specific tasks, directives, or unexpected strategies that disrupt unhealthy patterns and encourage change. This approach provides clear guidance and organization, aiding families in breaking free from harmful patterns. Instead of delving into every underlying problem, the therapist focuses on identifying key behaviors and intentionally interrupts them. Techniques such as assigning specific tasks or suggesting a behavior to minimize its effects can be particularly effective with clients who are hard to engage.

Strategic Therapy is effective because it combines careful observation with active involvement. The therapist intentionally guides the family from a supportive position, helping them find their path to change. This method is straightforward yet respectful, focusing on improving the family’s overall functioning.

“You act just like your…” Is There Truth to It?

I often hear the phrase,
“You’re just like your mother.” Sometimes it’s said affectionately, and other times it comes from frustration. But honestly, there is some truth to it.

Transgenerational Theory shows that behaviors, communication styles, trauma, and roles can be handed down through generations. In my family, I noticed that the emotional outbursts from my mother’s side appeared in both my brother and me, even though we tried to steer clear of them. We learned from our experiences and often repeated those patterns without even realizing it.

Is it more about biology or how we learn from others? It’s probably a bit of both. Traits such as anxiety or impulsivity can be passed down, but many of our behaviors come from watching how our caregivers deal with stress, love, and conflict. We tend to adopt these responses ourselves.

Transgenerational Therapy helps to reveal these patterns that span across generations. It’s not only about an individual’s problems; it’s about understanding how issues like addiction, codependency, or emotional disconnection can repeat in families. By looking at a genogram or family history, we can see just how deeply these patterns are rooted.

Bowenian Theory and Birth Order: According to Capuzzi and Stauffer
(2021),
“The major constructs of Bowen family system theory are differentiation of self, nuclear family emotional process, multigenerational transmission process, family projection process, interlocking triangles, emotional cutoff, sibling position, and social emotional process.”
(p. 149).

Bowenian Family Systems Theory adds another perspective by looking at birth order and sibling roles. I was the youngest in a hectic, emotionally unstable home. My older brother had to take on a lot of responsibility; he was like a second parent. As for me, I was seen as the “baby” of the family, sometimes ignored or shielded, depending on the situation. Reflecting on it now, I see how Bowen’s idea about sibling positions influencing identity connects with my experience. My brother felt a strong need to take charge and look after us. He’s a natural leader, but he can be a bit too strict. In contrast, I focused more on being creative, sensitive, and avoiding conflicts, traits I developed while dealing with the tricky emotions at home.

Bowen highlighted the importance of differentiating oneself, meaning being able to separate one’s thoughts and feelings from those of one’s family. For a long time, I found this difficult. I cared for my family, but I didn’t want to mirror them. Through therapy and becoming more self-aware, I have learned to differentiate myself, making this one of the most healing experiences in my life.

5.

After reading the
Unfeeling Strategic Therapist article and reviewing this week’s materials, I’ve gained a better understanding of the role that strategic therapy plays in a counseling setting. Strategic therapists seem to be very direct and task-focused, almost like they are guiding a mission rather than just listening to feelings. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that approach because it seems a little cold, but after thinking about it more, I realized that some families may need that kind of structure. Especially when a family is in crisis, a more directive counselor can keep things from getting worse and help people move toward actual change.

One part that stood out to me in the article was how the therapist avoids emotional involvement, not because they don’t care, but because staying neutral allows them to focus on the bigger picture. They use techniques like assigning tasks to family members or giving paradoxical suggestions. These techniques might seem strange on the surface, but they are designed to shake up the family’s normal patterns and help them think in new ways. I can see how that could be helpful when a family is stuck in repeated conflict.

When it comes to transgenerational therapy, I have always believed that certain traits and behaviors pass down through families. I’ve heard people say, “You act just like your mama,” or “That’s your granddaddy all over again,” and I never thought much of it until now. After learning about this theory, I do think there is something to that idea. Whether it’s biology or just watching and repeating behavior, I believe that family patterns are very real. For example, I’ve noticed how the women in my family tend to take on too much and put their own needs last. I’ve seen this in my mother, my aunt, and even myself. That pattern could be looked at in therapy to help stop it from passing on again.

The Bowenian approach also makes a lot of sense. Birth order and family position really do seem to affect how we grow up and how we interact with others. I’m the oldest in my family, and I’ve always felt a strong sense of responsibility. It’s interesting to see how that lines up with what Bowen believed. Overall, these theories help paint a fuller picture of how family dynamics work, and I think combining the structure of Strategic Therapy with the depth of Transgenerational and Bowenian approaches could be very powerful in helping families heal.

6.

There’s definitely something to that phrase, “You act just like your dad.” In my case, I’ve really noticed how much my oldest son is like me. It’s wild sometimes how closely he mirrors my reactions, my way of thinking, even the way I process emotions. It’s made me think a lot about how behaviors and patterns get passed down without realizing it. I’m also the oldest sibling in my family, and I’ve always taken on that responsible, “fix-it” kind of role. Now I see my son doing the same thing, especially when things feel stressful or uncertain. Bowen’s focus on sibling roles makes a lot of sense when you see it playing out in real life.

I also like the ideas behind Strategic Therapy. It’s less about digging around forever in the past and more about figuring out how to make change happen now, which can be refreshing when people are feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin.

7.

 When we look at the family structure, an initial assessment is always appropriate so that the issues can be establish.  Once this is done then you would need a strategic therapist to fine the root cause of the family break up and focused on problem solving.  Still, the therapist should never resort to possible pointing out “Big I’s” and ” little Yous”.  I feel that they do a great job in getting to the root of the situation.  When me and my son was in therapy, they separated us so that they could get a clearer picture of what was the family problem.  At first, I was not forthcoming with responses to questions, but as the sessions progressed, I was able to let go of some of my feelings that initially made it difficult to response.

     With regards to Bowenian, which is a comprehensive framework for understanding how families function as emotional units, with interconnected members influencing each other’s behaviors and relationships across generations.  This concept was developed by Murray Bowen, and it emphasized eight interlocking concepts, included differentiation of self, triangles, and multigenerational transmission, nuclear family emotional system, mutigenerational transmission process, family projection process emotional cutoff, sibling position, and societal regression.  Personally, I believe that birth order plays a significant role in how children see themselves through their parents’ eyes and how they see themselves in their own eyes.

     Inconclusion, strategic therapist plays a vital role in helping the family unit identify their problems and how to come to a positive resolution.