when those in a relations have a different libido
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When Those in Relationships have Different Libidos, Different Sexual Expectations, or Different Sexual Orientations
As a therapist, you will encounter partners who may share challenges when it comes to how they are experiencing sexual needs and desires. These can take a variety of forms. It might be that you have a couple who has been in a monogamous relationship for years and one partner just is not as interested in sexual activity as the other (Hogue et al., 2019; McCarthy & Ross, 2019), you might have partners in a relationship where one is more interested in kink sexual dynamics and the other is very reserved sexually (Hillier, 2018), you might have partners who have different sexual orientations (e.g., maybe one is heterosexual and the other is bisexual and this makes a difference in their sexual needs and desires), you might see partners in a relationship where one defines themselves on the asexual spectrum (Antonsen et al., 2020).
When you are working with more than one person in a relationship, the topic of sexual needs and desires can play a role in the overall defined happiness by the individuals involved (Hogue et al., 2019). There are shifts in thinking about the role of sex in relationships (e.g., how “important” or “needed” is sex?). This is something only the people you are working with can define. For example, in relationships where one person is asexual identified, this individual may not be interested in sex, maybe they do engage in sex with their partner as a way to “give” to them (Antonsen et al., 2020). In this case, the lack of sex may not be considered an issue because the other partner values or understands their partner’s identity. There could also be a dynamic where past sexual traumas could shift the way the partners engage in sexual activity (that they may not feel is problematic to them as a couple or as individuals). For others, one partner may state that they “need” a certain type/amount of sexual experiences in their life that they are not receiving from their partner. In other cases, sex can be used, by couples, as a way to control, persuade, or manipulate one another.
As you can see, addressing sexual differences can be based on the situation the partners are in and how this is playing a role in their daily lives. Therapists must recognize that they may have their own reactivity or expectation of sex when it comes to how they define healthy sexual relationships (McCarthy & Ross, 2019). This week, you will discover how sexual wants, needs, desires, and actions can challenge those in relationships and how you might be able to address these as a therapist.
References
Antonsen, A. N., Zdaniuk, B., Yule, M., & Brotto, L. A. (2020). Ace and Aro: Understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.
Archives of Sexual Behavior,
49(5), 1615–1630.
Hillier, K. M. (2018). Counselling diverse groups: Addressing counsellor bias toward the BDSM and D/S subculture.
Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy,
52(1), 65.
Hogue, J. V., Rosen, N. O., Bockaj, A., Impett, E. A., & Muise, A. (2019). Sexual communal motivation in couples coping with low sexual interest/arousal: Associations with sexual well-being and sexual goals.
PLoS ONE,
14(7), 1–20.
McCarthy, B., & Ross, L. W. (2019) Relational style and couple sexual style: Similar or different.
The Family Journal, 27(3), 245-249.
McCarthy B., & Ross L.W. (2018). Maintaining sexual desire and satisfaction in securely bonded couples.
The Family Journal, 26(2), 217-222.
Weekly Resources and Assignments
Review the resources from the Course Resources link, located in the top navigation bar, to prepare for this week’s assignments. The resources may include textbook reading assignments, journal articles, websites, links to tools or software, videos, handouts, rubrics, etc.
Assignment
Top of Form
Due May 26 at 11:59 PM
Bottom of Form
This week, you will create a Podcast titled
“When Sexual Needs and Expectations Among Partners Differ.” For this assignment, you are a special guest on a podcast channel titled “Getting the Most Out of Your Relationship.” Consider that the audience will be a mixed audience of professionals and interested people who want to think more about their own relationship(s). Additionally, reflect on clinical work with diverse clients.
Within this podcast, you are hoping to help people feel like they are not alone in their challenges and/or that there are ways they can consider these challenges differently.
You will describe/define at least five situations (based on research) where partners might experience different sexual needs or expectations and how this might influence the dynamics of the relationship or the needs of the individuals in the relationship. You will discuss how these situations might be approached in therapy and/or tools that people, in general, could use (based on research) to approach these differences.
Note that because of the mixed audience, you may have to describe the intervention or therapy style in an understandable way. For example, rather than saying, “EFT is a good model to use with this,” you might say, “there is a field of therapy called Emotion Focused Therapy that helps couples who might have experienced a break in trust, by rebuilding a safe space for the partners, the sexual challenge (X) can be better addressed.”
Length: 5 to 10-minute Podcast recorded in Kaltura
References: Include a minimum of 4 scholarly resources.
The completed assignment should address all of the assignment requirements, exhibit evidence of concept knowledge, and demonstrate thoughtful consideration of the content presented in the course. The writing should integrate scholarly resources,
adhere to Northcentral University’s Academic Integrity Policy.
When applicable, conduct a Turnitin pre-check and then upload your completed assignment and click the
Submit to Dropbox button.
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Ace and Aro: Understanding Differences in Romantic Attractions Among Persons Identifying as Asexual
Antonsen, A. N., Zdaniuk, B., Yule, M., & Brotto, L. A. (2020). Ace and Aro: Understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.
Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(5), 1615–1630.
This article explores differences in romantic and sexual attraction that might play a role in sexual activity.
·
Counselling Diverse Groups: Addressing Counsellor Bias toward the BDSM and D/S Subculture
Hillier, K. M. (2018). Counselling diverse groups: Addressing counsellor bias toward the BDSM and D/S subculture.
Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 52(1), 65.
This article introduces and discusses BDSM and the bias that therapists might experience.
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Maintaining Sexual Desire and Satisfaction in Securely Bonded Couples
McCarthy B., & Ross L. W. (2018). Maintaining sexual desire and satisfaction in securely bonded couples.
The Family Journal, 26(2), 217-222.
This article highlights sexual experiences of couples. Bridges theories (e.g., EFT and Gottman) in with sex therapy.
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Relational Style and Couple Sexual Style: Similar or Different
McCarthy, B., & Ross, L. W. (2019) Relational style and couple sexual style: Similar or different.
The Family Journal, 27(3), 245-249.
This research explores sexual styles in couple relationships and the influence on the relationship.
Hogue, J. V., Rosen, N. O., Bockaj, A., Impett, E. A., & Muise, A. (2019). Sexual communal motivation in couples coping with low sexual interest/arousal: Associations with sexual well-being and sexual goals.
PLoS ONE, 14(7), 1–20.
This article explores low sex drive and the process that couples go through when sex drives differ.
National University (2023).
Kaltura User Guide. Graduate Studies Support Center.
This resource includes instructions for recording and uploading videos into courses using Kaltura.
